I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
