The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
