you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
