Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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