it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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