OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
