I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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