I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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