DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
