Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
