sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
