Just cropdusted the office
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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