so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
