Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
