So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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