I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Found your dick twin last night
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
