what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
