Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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