every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
