Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
