people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
