We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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