I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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