you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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