I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
