A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
