You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
