i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
