yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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