guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize