Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
