Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
