erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
