Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
