i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
