Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
where am i from again
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
