roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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