he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
