I need help removing her.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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