we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
