i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I am spending my child support on dildos
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
