Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
