i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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