my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize