Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
