I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
