But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
