I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
