the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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