there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
