Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
