I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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