Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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