Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
