He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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