i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
