i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
